The Malaysian Insider

NOV 13 — Someone recently suggested that I write a thorough analysis on the current economic situation, which I promptly dismissed with LOL and ROTFL. You can ask me about the aerodynamic properties of a duck and we can be locked in an animated and intellectual discussion for hours on end. But I know next to nothing about economics, the economy and how the whole thing really works.

You see, I registered for one elementary economics class at university, and proceeded to spend the best part of the year in some sort of trance at the school refectory.^[1] I got completely lost somewhere in the demand-supply curve, law of diminishing returns, and a bloke named Keynes,^[2] so there is very little chance that I am going to dazzle you, dear readers, with fancy economic theories and sophisticated insights.

OCT 20 — I was recently asked the following question: “what was the greatest challenge during my 14 years of working life?”

I thought long and hard about it — as you do — and in the end, it dawned on me that really, the greatest challenge of my working life has got nothing to do with the workplace. It was actually riding on the notorious mini buses when I first started out.

This may sound absurd to the readers of this column but really, the challenges at the workplace pale in comparison, given that I actually risked life and limb every time I stepped on the pink Bas Mini Wilayah. In retrospect, it was so risky that I could have easily sued myself for grievous bodily harm.

SEPT 20 — I am in Brisbane, Australia as I write this [1] having rather nervously travelled to this country/island/continent on the 8th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. Flying nine long hours on economy class was not pleasant for my bottom, but apart from that, I have nothing to complain about.

In fact, I wish to boast that things are going terribly well so far in the land where the weather is most agreeable and people speak with an impenetrable accent.

While I do miss home, it feels great to be away from the endless, over-priced Ramadhan buffets. I am looking forward to spend another week as a slob and get fat so that people can comment on how much weight I have gained despite the month of Ramadhan. It will be a perfect excuse for me to ram a donut down their throats for being uselessly rude.[2]

SEPT 6 — Originally, I was going to write an insightful and penetrating piece about something clever like the removal of petrol subsidy or the decay of the nation’s judiciary system, but that would have meant coming up with an analysis of such depth and sophistication that requires too much work.

So instead, I decided to write about a mildly thought-provoking topic: The 2012 Doomsday Prophecy. To some readers, the subject may be about as much fun as discussing bowel disorders or how ridiculously boring Singaporeans can be, but there has been a groundswell of interests about the topic that it merits an intellectual discourse.[1]

AUG 25 — Football fans and their long-suffering spouses will have noticed the huge acres of newsprint (and Internet coverage) devoted recently to Cristiano Ronaldo’s transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid for a staggering fee of £80 million (RM456 million).

When Ronaldo was recruited in 2003 as a scrawny 18-year-old for the princely amount of £12.24 million, there were raised eyebrows (when I say “raised”, I mean close to the ceiling) as almost everyone thought Sir Alex Ferguson paid too much for a one-trick show pony. After six seasons at Old Trafford, during which Ronaldo won every possible honour – including the coveted World Footballer of the Year award – the purchase is now hailed as an inspired piece of business.